Many readers have mentioned discussing this column in Sunday School. This fact prompts me to share a chapter from my book: So,You've Been Asked to Speak? I hope you find it useful.
Who hasn't been in group discussions where it would have been more exciting watching grass grow? The success of a small group discussion has very much to do with the leader's attitudes and preconceived notions. Be positive. The best advice still is, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones," Proverbs 17:22. Good discussion leaders are trained---not born.
Before you begin, study the purpose of the meeting and what you intend to accomplish in the discussion. Whether it is Sunday School, where you plan to cover all of the week's lessons, or a mid-week Prayer Meeting, you must develop a central theme, a goal you intend to reach. The old adage is that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Once the people have assembled, the first thing to do after prayer is to explain to the group your goals and expectations. Tell them the direction you want to go and include them in helping you to hit your target.
To lead a successful group discussion you must seriously like listening to people and be willing to carefully consider all weird and sometimes crazy ideas that come along with the good and positive thoughts. You must remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion (even though it may be wrong). A good discussion leader is a student of people and treats everyone as an equal. He or she must analyze what the others are thinking and why they are thinking as they do as the meeting progresses. Leading a group discussion is more of an art than a science. It's like conducting an orchestra. You divide the personalities into various sections or groups such as the brass section, the woodwinds, the drummers and maybe even a harp or two. Your task is to get them all to play together. But remember, you can't make a flute player into a violinist, or a drummer into a saxophone player, but you can try to get them to all play from the same sheet of music. That's the art.
Each and every group has its own personality. Of the many things that make a group unique, probably a person's age, education and financial status are the more important factors to consider. A more educated group may know more about current affairs and a broad range of topics. Researchers tell us that better-educated groups are more likely to be concerned with political, social, consumer and environmental subjects and be more open minded. Common sense will tell you that an elderly, highly educated, wealthy old bachelor will have an entirely different world view than the struggling single parent sitting next to him.
Commandments for Group Discussion Leaders
* A good group leader knows that in order to have a successful discussion that will come to a fair and honest conclusion, he or she must have order, cooperation and a willingness to compromise from the group members.
* A good group leader is a good listener. Hearing is something we do automatically, but listening is done because we want to. Your ears may not have eyelids but they can shut out the noise. A good listener listens with his ears and eyes as he watches for clues from the group. Folded arms, blank stares, drumming fingers and fidgeting members all contain messages. A good group leader tries to understand the intention of what is being said and repeats positive thoughts and questions. This involves analyzing and not automatically accepting what is spoken at face value. Listen for positive and negatives and try to understand why things were said. Beware not to be thrown off by "triggers" such as inflammatory slurs about race, politics and other topics that come fully loaded, just waiting for someone to pull the trigger and begin a controversy.
Next week, 15 more commandments (some serious, some not) for group leaders.
Marvin Hunt
********************************
How to Conduct a Group Discussion
Part II

As I said last week, many readers have mentioned discussing this column in Sunday School. This fact prompts me to share a chapter from my book: So,You've Been Asked to Speak? I hope you find it useful.
The success of a small group discussion has very much to do with the leader's attitudes and preconceived notions. Be positive. The best advice still is, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones," Proverbs 17:22. Good discussion leaders are trained---not born. What follows are 15 commandments for group leaders.
* A good group leader can paraphrase negative statements by restating them in an accurate but more positive manner. For instance someone may say, "Anyone in their right mind knows that abortion is killing and therefore should be stopped." Without being drawn into all of the side issues such as rape, incest and the life of the mother, you may simply reply by saying, "Yes, there are many people that feel abortion is wrong." A group leader can also paraphrase hostile questions by saying, "I think you may be asking whether... which is an interesting point that we can discuss privately," and then move on without further comment.
* A good group leader is well prepared and always has a collection of questions and thoughts to prime the pump and begin the discussion. If things are slow in getting started he or she begins by making a list of the important points and drawing in the group members. He or she also knows that there are words that start arguments or promote opinions. Words like "always", "never", "only", and "all" can be used to start a "controlled fire." For instance, "Is it true that only Christians will go to heaven?" Of course the leader remembers that starting a fire is often easier than containing it.
* A good group leader spices up the discussion occasionally with open-ended questions. For example, "Why do you think Mary was chosen to be Jesus' mother? vs. Who was Jesus' mother? Other examples might be, "Do you really think all church doctrines are important?" or "Where is the line between the church guiding in my life and the church meddling in my life?"
* A good group leader has already studied out many of the options the group will consider. He or she knows that hours of mental preparation need to go into every presentation. The leader will steer the subject like a car on a mountain road carefully slowing and speeding up as is necessary, avoiding unnecessary side roads and scenic overlooks, no matter how tempting they may be---if they detract from the purpose of the journey.
* A good group leader will sometimes use visual aids to get the pump primed. Dr. Melvin Campbell, a university teacher tells of bringing his bedroom door to his class. He explained that the door is the classic 6-panel or "Cross and Bible door" that symbolizes the cross and the open Bible. He said the door's presence opened up a marvelous discussion--and everyone was listening.
* A good group leader will use humor for tension relief and will sometimes use themselves as the object of humor. We all remember Ross Perot, a man famous for the abundant size of his ears, who once said, "I'm all ears," as he paused to listen to someone make a point.
* A good group leader knows that no one's question or answer is ever stupid. It is never appropriate to put down, or allow anyone else to be put down or put someone down. Instead, if a someone makes a harebrained statement, the leader might say, "Let me think about that idea for awhile--maybe we can get back to it."
* A good group leader knows that sometimes you have to become a traffic cop and pull over a violator whose mouth is speeding in excess of their ability to think. To shorten long-winded answers ask, "In the interest of saving time and allowing everyone an equal opportunity, would you please sum up your thoughts?"
* A good group leader will restate questions for those who have trouble saying clearly what they mean, because everyone needs a chance to make their point. They know that the most profitable and interesting discussions happen when all group members participate more or less equally.
* A good group leader is the gentle gatekeeper and is careful about what is allowed in to be discussed. He or she also prevents members from wandering away from the subject.
* A good group leader is constantly and kindly working to build points of agreement all of which are leading toward a solution of the problem. He also remembers that just because people disagree on certain points doesn't mean that they totally disagree. He or she knows that people usually agree on the final goal but often disagree on how to get there.
* A good group leader has confidence in the adage that there is wisdom in committee. Proverbs 11:14, "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in a multitude of counsellors there is safety." He knows that a group is more likely to bring many more points than he would think of on his own and that a feeling of democracy and ownership of the decision will make for the most satisfying decision.
* A good group leader always practices Christian principles and does not attack members of the group. He or she knows that there is a natural feeling of sympathy for someone in their group who is attacked or humiliated by the leader. The leader also knows that singling out someone could have the effect of making them a figure of pity rather than a person deserving scorn. He or she knows that by shutting off the offender they miss the opportunity to create a warm and friendly setting that endears the group to its leader. In these situations the leader often turns to humor to relax the tension and regain control.
* A good group leader does not get defensive and makes it clear that it is all right to disagree, but not be disagreeable. If he or she is attacked, let the rest of the group come to the rescue. Vengeance in not a group leader's privilege.
* A good group leader understands defensive behavior and knows there will be times when he or she will be confronted by someone of the group. They know that, caught unawares, if they feel threatened or under pressure, these situations will automatically bring out the worst. They know we all have "hot buttons" that can cause us to erupt quite unexpectedly---especially when our motivations are questioned. Someone may say, "We know you are nice to so and so only because you want their vote!" On such occasions all of us have built in defenses which may include either digging our heels in and refusing to move, blaming others and fighting, blaming ourselves and temporarily giving in or acting like it is funny and avoiding the confrontation. Instead of reacting angrily, we need to have a plan of action already in place.
To begin, leaders should review how they have responded in the past when someone "got in their face." Could they feel their blood pressure rise and their hands beginning to tremble? Did their breathing rate begin increasing as their palms got sweaty? These are all automatic fight or flight responses a person's body does when it senses it is being threatened. Leaders should make note of these signs and the next time they are confronted, try to immediately recognize what is happening and stop themselves before the situation gets out of hand.
A group leader will ask themselves if the offense was intentional, unintentional or just thoughtless? Following, they will calmly decide if they should acknowledge or ignore the situation. Someone has said that any bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes the battle isn't worth winning.
* A good group leader summarizes from time to time as the meeting progresses and then one final time at the end. Then he or she properly closes the meeting.
A Special Warning to Group Leaders
Be careful where you allow the discussion to go. A group discussion leader once offered the idea that they should follow the advice, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed..." James 5:16. However, what was not anticipated was that the church treasurer would confess to being a kleptomaniac. In this case, discussing the treasurer's mental illness was far beyond the scope of this small group meeting. Not only was no medical help given, but this very confidential matter became public knowledge. Perhaps we should mention here that the text does not say to confess all of your faults one to another. In this instance, common sense dictated that the person in charge must be in control. No one gained a blessing from the treasurer's disclosure.
And finally, a special prayer thought for all teachers. You have your work cut out for you! May God bless you an your students so that what is said and done is to the honor and glory of our Lord.

Blessings in your study of God's Word!

Marvin Hunt

There is never a charge for my articles, and if you have a good reason, there is no limit to how many you may request. However, if you find them valuable you may want to order my latest book, History, Mystery and Facts About the Bible. Order at 1-800-845-7618 (ext. 301). You may also order from Amazon.com. Proceeds from the book go to support this ministry.

Blessings!
Marvin Hunt

Http://www.biblehistory.com

p.s. A new column is posted weekly. Be sure and bookmark the site or put it on your favorites list.